Author Archives: DrBorouGhR

Giving Your Full Attention to the Present

 

“With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

How often can you relate to at least one of these?

Drive while talking on a cell phone, or think about work problems, or the errands you have to do?

How often do you eat your food without thinking about what you’re eating? How often do you find yourself drifting off while doing other things?

Worrying about something you messed up on or about something that’s coming up?

Most of us are elsewhere, much of the time, rather than in the here and now. There are three things we tend to think about:

  1. The Past. Something happens and we rehash the things we messed up. Being embarrassed about something we did. Wishing we could have something back that is gone. Living in memories of good times past or being angry about things that happened to us.
  2. The Future. Worrying about things we need to do later. Our endless ‘To Do’ lists. Worrying about what might happen. Being anxious that things might go wrong, or that we might fail. Hoping for something wonderful. Dreaming of great things to come.
  3. The Present. What is happening right now, at this moment. What are YOU doing now.

We cannot stop ourselves from thinking about the past or the future, it’s a natural part of being human. However, with practice, we can focus on being more present than we already do. In today’s world most of us are distracted right? Do you ever just stop and be still? When you allow yourself to be present in any given moment, you have the potential to experience deep inner peace. You have the power to experience an abundance of joy, love and total inner peace and fulfillment. We must learn to accept this universal truth, now is all there ever is. Nothing else exists, besides from this present moment. The past has gone, the future has not arrived. Nothing stands still, everything is constantly changing.

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Forgiving the Unforgivable

 

As an Intuitive Life Strategist who acts as an emotional compass helping people navigate life’s challenges by combining my work as a Spiritual Psychotherapist, life coaching, and energy psychology many people wonder what would be the point of working with someone like me. No matter how many self-help books, courses or workshops you do none of them will work unless you really want to heal & set it as a priority. The journey to happiness & peace begins when you are ready to let go of the pain & embrace all that you are with an open heart and allow yourself to be supported.

I wanted to share something very personal with you. Even though I speak on Forgiveness often, few grasp the power it brings.  I wanted to share with you my journey into the prison to visit the man accused of murdering my grandmother, with the hope that maybe this will inspire you to see what forgiveness might bring into your life.

In 2007, twelve years after the horrific tragedy that forever changed my family, I returned to my native South Africa to face the man who murdered my grandmother. After setting up a meeting through the warden, I borrowed a car and set out on the two-hour journey from my mom’s house to the prison. The whole way there I felt really calm; I had no thoughts, no expectations. Since I arrived an hour early, I sat in a coffee shop with a little journal, intending to write down questions to ask my grandmother’s killer. “What do I want to say to him?” I asked myself. Again, nothing came.

Instead, the memories of what happened came flooding back. Hearing the news that my paternal grandmother had been violently murdered was a devastating shock. Even more unbelievable was the discovery that my uncle’s estranged wife, Susan, had been behind the plan to kill her mother-in-law—and that her own son, a young man whom we called Wolfe, whom my grandmother loved as her own, was the perpetrator.

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10 Ways to Cope Through Tough Times

“This too shall pass………”

We’ve all experienced difficult times in our lives, often through events and circumstances outside our control. But like great trees, humans grow stronger when exposed to powerful winds. When extreme, unexpected, life changing, or scary things happen, how can we not only survive them but also grow from the experience? Here are 10 suggestions for dealing with the hard times when they happen:

  1. Take responsibility and embrace the situation

Assume an “I can do something” attitude rather than pointing fingers. Its natural to numb in the beginning. Instead rather than avoid what is happening when you recognize that you’re in a trying time and accept that you can’t change it, you’re no longer a prisoner to your situation. You free yourself to deal the best you can with the challenge ahead of you. If nothing else, you can control your own response to the situation.

  1. Try to see past the hardship

When you’re in a crisis, it’s hard to see any upside. But, with some distance, you may be able to see the situation in a different light. When you compartmentalize the difficulty, you can focus on a workable solution. “Take a ‘crisis break’ in which you relax and observe the situation as if you were an outsider. Take several deep breaths to calm your nervous system down, silence the mind and focus on your intuition. You are very likely to derive some useful thoughts you would not have come upon within the midst of your anxious state.

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How to Be Assertive Without Alienating Everyone

“Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.” ~Unknown

You may not give much thought to the existence of boundaries in your daily life, but they are everywhere. For example, when you are driving on a two-lane road, you stay to the right of the center line, especially if there is a car coming from the opposite direction. That’s a boundary you can clearly see but what about how you are in relationships.

Boundary issues are common to most of us; in fact, our personal boundaries are often blurred leading to conflict or feelings of resentment in relationships. Most of us come from a family where boundaries were unclear or barely recognized and maybe we don’t know what a boundary really is. The simplest way for me to explain what a boundary is, is where I end and you begin. They enable use to make choices about how we feel, think or behave.

Healthy Personal Boundaries = Taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions, while NOT taking responsibility for the actions or emotions of others

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The Power of Your Word

‎”There are 2 primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” -Denis Waitley

Ah, it’s the beginning of a New Year and we are roaring to get going……or not. Yes I know it’s the start of the New Year and we are all thinking of beginning the resolutions we set at the stroke of Midnight. Some of us might have already begun and for the rest of us we might feel like there is a trailer of dead wood we are dragging around with us…we feel like we are stuck in the mud.

I personally gave up on the whole “resolutions” mania. As a recovering perfectionist, I was tired of beating myself up when things did not go according to plan. I think it’s time to ditch traditional New Year Resolutions entirely in favor of something a bit more attainable: let’s call them New Year’s Intentions and creating a daily ritual.

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Why We Make Bad Decisions

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So being a Libra on the Zodiac chart has often been a challenge when coming to decision-making and believe me there have been times I have failed miserably to say the least. I am sure you can relate after you have made the choice that perhaps it was not in your best interest and now there are consequences that follow. Damn those consequences!

Does this then mean I am doomed to making bad decisions forever?—perhaps or maybe not. We are all faced with challenges that require decision-making. How we meet our challenges though, makes all the difference in the image of success or failure. We as humans have the ability to learn and change.

The thing about creating our reality is that we decide it from only 2 places. We either make a decision based from FEAR or LOVE. If we are not consciously making it from a place of LOVE we are more likely to be making them from our unconscious FEARS. Scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences reveal that our decisions are made seconds before we become aware of them. That our unconscious minds pretty much controls everything and that consciousness is extremely limited. Yikes, that’s kinds scary if you really think about who is driving the bus!

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