We’ve all experienced difficult times in our lives, often through events and circumstances outside our control. But like great trees, humans grow stronger when exposed to powerful winds. When extreme, unexpected, life changing, or scary things happen, how can we not only survive them but also grow from the experience? Here are 10 suggestions for dealing with the hard times when they happen:
Take responsibility and embrace the situation
Assume an “I can do something” attitude rather than pointing fingers. Its natural to numb in the beginning. Instead rather than avoid what is happening when you recognize that you’re in a trying time and accept that you can’t change it, you’re no longer a prisoner to your situation. You free yourself to deal the best you can with the challenge ahead of you. If nothing else, you can control your own response to the situation.
Try to see past the hardship
When you’re in a crisis, it’s hard to see any upside. But, with some distance, you may be able to see the situation in a different light. When you compartmentalize the difficulty, you can focus on a workable solution. “Take a ‘crisis break’ in which you relax and observe the situation as if you were an outsider. Take several deep breaths to calm your nervous system down, silence the mind and focus on your intuition. You are very likely to derive some useful thoughts you would not have come upon within the midst of your anxious state.
“Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.” ~Unknown
You may not give much thought to the existence of boundaries in your daily life, but they are everywhere. For example, when you are driving on a two-lane road, you stay to the right of the center line, especially if there is a car coming from the opposite direction. That’s a boundary you can clearly see but what about how you are in relationships.
Boundary issues are common to most of us; in fact, our personal boundaries are often blurred leading to conflict or feelings of resentment in relationships. Most of us come from a family where boundaries were unclear or barely recognized and maybe we don’t know what a boundary really is. The simplest way for me to explain what a boundary is, is where I end and you begin. They enable use to make choices about how we feel, think or behave.
Healthy Personal Boundaries = Taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions, while NOT taking responsibility for the actions or emotions of others
”There are 2 primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” -Denis Waitley
Ah, it’s the beginning of a New Year and we are roaring to get going……or not. Yes I know it’s the start of the New Year and we are all thinking of beginning the resolutions we set at the stroke of Midnight. Some of us might have already begun and for the rest of us we might feel like there is a trailer of dead wood we are dragging around with us…we feel like we are stuck in the mud.
I personally gave up on the whole “resolutions” mania. As a recovering perfectionist, I was tired of beating myself up when things did not go according to plan. I think it’s time to ditch traditional New Year Resolutions entirely in favor of something a bit more attainable: let’s call them New Year’s Intentions and creating a daily ritual.
So being a Libra on the Zodiac chart has often been a challenge when coming to decision-making and believe me there have been times I have failed miserably to say the least. I am sure you can relate after you have made the choice that perhaps it was not in your best interest and now there are consequences that follow. Damn those consequences!
Does this then mean I am doomed to making bad decisions forever?—perhaps or maybe not. We are all faced with challenges that require decision-making. How we meet our challenges though, makes all the difference in the image of success or failure. We as humans have the ability to learn and change.
The thing about creating our reality is that we decide it from only 2 places. We either make a decision based fromFEARorLOVE. If we are not consciously making it from a place of LOVE we are more likely to be making them from our unconscious FEARS. Scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences reveal that our decisions are made seconds before we become aware of them. That our unconscious minds pretty much controls everything and that consciousness is extremely limited. Yikes, that’s kinds scary if you really think about who is driving the bus!