Tag Archives: self-awareness tools

Giving Your Full Attention to the Present

 

“With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

How often can you relate to at least one of these?

Drive while talking on a cell phone, or think about work problems, or the errands you have to do?

How often do you eat your food without thinking about what you’re eating? How often do you find yourself drifting off while doing other things?

Worrying about something you messed up on or about something that’s coming up?

Most of us are elsewhere, much of the time, rather than in the here and now. There are three things we tend to think about:

  1. The Past. Something happens and we rehash the things we messed up. Being embarrassed about something we did. Wishing we could have something back that is gone. Living in memories of good times past or being angry about things that happened to us.
  2. The Future. Worrying about things we need to do later. Our endless ‘To Do’ lists. Worrying about what might happen. Being anxious that things might go wrong, or that we might fail. Hoping for something wonderful. Dreaming of great things to come.
  3. The Present. What is happening right now, at this moment. What are YOU doing now.

We cannot stop ourselves from thinking about the past or the future, it’s a natural part of being human. However, with practice, we can focus on being more present than we already do. In today’s world most of us are distracted right? Do you ever just stop and be still? When you allow yourself to be present in any given moment, you have the potential to experience deep inner peace. You have the power to experience an abundance of joy, love and total inner peace and fulfillment. We must learn to accept this universal truth, now is all there ever is. Nothing else exists, besides from this present moment. The past has gone, the future has not arrived. Nothing stands still, everything is constantly changing.

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Forgiving the Unforgivable

 

As an Intuitive Life Strategist who acts as an emotional compass helping people navigate life’s challenges by combining my work as a Spiritual Psychotherapist, life coaching, and energy psychology many people wonder what would be the point of working with someone like me. No matter how many self-help books, courses or workshops you do none of them will work unless you really want to heal & set it as a priority. The journey to happiness & peace begins when you are ready to let go of the pain & embrace all that you are with an open heart and allow yourself to be supported.

I wanted to share something very personal with you. Even though I speak on Forgiveness often, few grasp the power it brings.  I wanted to share with you my journey into the prison to visit the man accused of murdering my grandmother, with the hope that maybe this will inspire you to see what forgiveness might bring into your life.

In 2007, twelve years after the horrific tragedy that forever changed my family, I returned to my native South Africa to face the man who murdered my grandmother. After setting up a meeting through the warden, I borrowed a car and set out on the two-hour journey from my mom’s house to the prison. The whole way there I felt really calm; I had no thoughts, no expectations. Since I arrived an hour early, I sat in a coffee shop with a little journal, intending to write down questions to ask my grandmother’s killer. “What do I want to say to him?” I asked myself. Again, nothing came.

Instead, the memories of what happened came flooding back. Hearing the news that my paternal grandmother had been violently murdered was a devastating shock. Even more unbelievable was the discovery that my uncle’s estranged wife, Susan, had been behind the plan to kill her mother-in-law—and that her own son, a young man whom we called Wolfe, whom my grandmother loved as her own, was the perpetrator.

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Some days you’re the Dog, other days the Hydrant

 

 

I was having one of those days. You know, the kind of day where you do something really stupid and then beat yourself up over it for several days after. Here I was thinking ‘what was wrong with me, why have I not learnt this yet?’  So there I was well into day four of whipping myself – you know how it works, you start dredging up past wrongs, one after another, months and then before you know it a few years’ worth, and  to make matters worse you heap those on top of the current ‘wrong’ you did. Pretty soon you’ve got a dark cloud following you around. Not to mention that extra weight on your back and you’re walking around all hunched over and angry. Mad at yourself for being so stupid, mad for trusting, seeing yourself as a total screw up, over and over and over. Geez Louise.

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How to Mend a Broken Heart

 

 

This month Valentine’s Day was celebrated, like any other year. If you are madly in love, this day would have been a very special day to celebrate with your partner. You might have put lots of thought into it – the perfect card or gift, flowers, a sumptuous candle-lit dinner and romantic music in the background.

But not everyone will be celebrating the love. It could be a day reminding you what you no longer have, the hurt you feel or the betrayal by another. Mending a broken heart is never easy; it’s much safer to keep it closed than feel the pain. There is no quick way to stop your heart

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Signs of being an Emotional Zombie

 

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For most of my life, being an empath  in a world where being emotional equaled being weak or foolish it was hard to manage my emotions. In order for me to cope I would disconnect from them and became a “Bobblehead”, always in my head ‘thinking’. Perhaps you can you relate? Always stuck in your head, constantly rehashing your thoughts and not really getting anywhere.  Maybe a little control-freak issue creeping in various situations? Yes you have those goals or “To do lists’ and when you get to achieve them there’s that ’empty feeling’ and you’re onto the next thing?

The most important lesson I have had to learn is that Feelings Buried Alive never Die!

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A Year to Clear What is Holding you back from Living Your Best Life

 

With all our best intentions and goals, why is it so hard  for us to slow down, simplify our lives, and take better care of ourselves? Why do most of our ‘New Year Resolutions’  fall short or peter out?

Why are we so afraid to let go and embrace a new way of being? Is Change really that scary when deep down we really yearn for it?

As a society our drive to attain and keep ‘busy’ comes at a great cost to our soul. We are malnourished when it comes to compassionate self-acceptance, awareness, and care. We yearn for a simpler, less stressful life, but struggle to find it. We ache for balance but can’t sustain it. There is no time to juggle it all, let alone clear the things and thoughts that have caused us to feel so overwhelmed in the first place.

Stop and take a good, hard look at who (or what) is taking up space in your life. If you want change to be effective in your life this year it starts with AWARENESS. You can’t change what you are not aware of. We all have blind spots, things we know deep down are swirling away but we avoid looking at for many reasons. Until we do and are completely honest with ourselves we are doomed to pass another year of carrying around what is weighing us down, holding us back from being who really wish to be and living the life we really want.

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How to get your Mojo back when stuck in Funky Town

Do you feel that you have lost your sparkle? Life is guaranteed to knock us all down a time or two. What’s important is that we get back up. The hard part is overcoming the apathy that comes with loss of energy and feeling a little ‘meh’. We’ve all been there; everything sucks, everyone is stupid & in your way, you can’t do anything right and nothing is ever going to get any better.

When you were little and the teacher asked what you wanted to be when you grew up, you surely didn’t answer “miserable!” At every stage in life, unhappiness is not a state to which we aspire. Emerging research shows that while the impact of life’s circumstances has a profound impact on the brain, the brain is not as hard-wired as previously thought. We can learn & retrain ourselves to be happier.

When you’re in a funk it can be really, really hard to see your way out of it.  I’ve experienced my fare share of funks & it’s good to wallow in it for a while, as staying with the emotion and embracing it can bring about some insights. But having said that we don’t need to stay there  forever, as like Thich Nhat Hanh  (a Zen spiritual teacher) says we might “miss the wonders of life”. So I want to provide you with some easy, practical ways  that have helped me get out of that nasty funk!

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Mercury Retrograde-Is it Me or has the Whole World gone Crazy?

Mercury Retrograde Madness

 

Is it me or does it feel like the whole world is going crazy? I would say yes to both of those questions. We’ve all heard of it…the dreaded time when Mercury goes retrograde. Geez Louise! And to top it all the full moon (known this time as the Bloodmoon because of it’s vibrant redish colour) had to add it’s two cents into the mix. Holy smokes, for anyone sensitive to cyclical energy spurts you might have felt you were on a speed wobble! There are certain cycles where the energy feels confusing and ungrounded and it’s not uncommon to for you to react emotionally & feel ‘out of sorts’.

Most of us dread Mercury in retrograde. We think of it as an extremely negative period, a frustrating time filled with irritating technical problems, confused communications, and mishaps. Mercury in retrograde often gets a bad rap, but this is also a great & optimal time to let go and clean up as well. At this time patterns can be broken now as you tune into what is not working in your relationships or in your life. With the powerful energy your intuitive abilities will be heightened along with your emotions.

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Stop Comparing Yourself to Others:You are Magnificent just the Way you Are

 

Be confident

If you are like me, at times you probably catch yourself falling into the ever-alluring yet emotionally-dangerous trap of comparing yourself to others. On one hand we unconsciously do this in an attempt to make accurate evaluations of ourselves, perhaps for personal growth. But at what cost? While comparison can be a valuable source of motivation and growth, it can also spin us into a tail-chasing frenzy of self-doubt.

This brings me to an experience I had recently at an event where I was showcasing my new book on Forgiveness as well as a Soul Vision Board workshop with a twist. Out the corner of the eye I caught this woman who had just come through the door make a beeline for me. Being an empath I felt a woosh of energy come charging ahead of the woman. Lets just say it was not a pretty pink loving colour but more of a sharp cutting edgy feel.

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The Art Of Happiness after Loss Summit

When you’ve been through a major, life-changing event, it’s only normal to spend time getting over it. But when you’re OVER getting over it, and want to find happiness again, how do you do that?  Well, this August, your days of wondering and struggling are over. My friend Lois McCullough has put together an amazing online event, with 21 loss and happiness experts, who will inspire you to bring happiness and joy back into your life, and to move forward from now on, with renewed energy and a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment. I’m excited to be a guest speaker as part of The  Art of Happiness after Loss Telesummit and I can’t wait for you to join me! The 21-day online tele-summit event begins on August 1st, and it’s FREE! Yes it’s FREE, no obligation but just to listen.   Click here to reserve your seat!  Art of Happiness after Loss Telesummit  When you are ready to get back into a joyful life, it’s nice to know there are others out there who are ready, and eager, to support you. Continue reading

How to Succeed through Doubt, Fear and Crisis and find Happiness Again

 This post on my Facebook business page really spoke to people. As a business owner with a business page on Facebook offering inspiration and tips to people via FB can be challenging at times. The reason being Facebook continuously evolves and over time has reduced the number of times a post is displayed in my reader’s newsfeed. So when this post went viral with over 33 000 shares and reaching over 2 million readers I was a little taken back. The words on this post seemed to resonate with so many I wondered about all the stories they might have to share. How they might be struggling with fear, doubt or are even in crisis, how they might have moved forward after loss and found happiness again. I wondered….

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Feelings buried alive – How Zombies get out alive

“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It’s been raining as I write up this week’s blog. The rain is welcome as all the spring gardens come to life in Canada. All this rain has me thinking & feeling about what the water element teaches us. During my Soul Coaching course we dedicate a whole week to the energy of this element and it’s lessons.

What kind of feeling does a rainy day evoke in you? Do you even notice a difference in how you feel? For some people rain creates a sense of coziness, a nesting feeling, some a cleansing. For others, too much rain creates a feeling of dread & sadness. Pay attention to your feelings, they are signposts offering you more information about you. And the more you learn about yourself, you will be able to hear your soul more clearly. Continue reading