Tag Archives: Self compassion

Forgiving the Unforgivable

 

As an Intuitive Life Strategist who acts as an emotional compass helping people navigate life’s challenges by combining my work as a Spiritual Psychotherapist, life coaching, and energy psychology many people wonder what would be the point of working with someone like me. No matter how many self-help books, courses or workshops you do none of them will work unless you really want to heal & set it as a priority. The journey to happiness & peace begins when you are ready to let go of the pain & embrace all that you are with an open heart and allow yourself to be supported.

I wanted to share something very personal with you. Even though I speak on Forgiveness often, few grasp the power it brings.  I wanted to share with you my journey into the prison to visit the man accused of murdering my grandmother, with the hope that maybe this will inspire you to see what forgiveness might bring into your life.

In 2007, twelve years after the horrific tragedy that forever changed my family, I returned to my native South Africa to face the man who murdered my grandmother. After setting up a meeting through the warden, I borrowed a car and set out on the two-hour journey from my mom’s house to the prison. The whole way there I felt really calm; I had no thoughts, no expectations. Since I arrived an hour early, I sat in a coffee shop with a little journal, intending to write down questions to ask my grandmother’s killer. “What do I want to say to him?” I asked myself. Again, nothing came.

Instead, the memories of what happened came flooding back. Hearing the news that my paternal grandmother had been violently murdered was a devastating shock. Even more unbelievable was the discovery that my uncle’s estranged wife, Susan, had been behind the plan to kill her mother-in-law—and that her own son, a young man whom we called Wolfe, whom my grandmother loved as her own, was the perpetrator.

Continue reading

Some days you’re the Dog, other days the Hydrant

 

 

I was having one of those days. You know, the kind of day where you do something really stupid and then beat yourself up over it for several days after. Here I was thinking ‘what was wrong with me, why have I not learnt this yet?’  So there I was well into day four of whipping myself – you know how it works, you start dredging up past wrongs, one after another, months and then before you know it a few years’ worth, and  to make matters worse you heap those on top of the current ‘wrong’ you did. Pretty soon you’ve got a dark cloud following you around. Not to mention that extra weight on your back and you’re walking around all hunched over and angry. Mad at yourself for being so stupid, mad for trusting, seeing yourself as a total screw up, over and over and over. Geez Louise.

Continue reading

How to Mend a Broken Heart

 

 

This month Valentine’s Day was celebrated, like any other year. If you are madly in love, this day would have been a very special day to celebrate with your partner. You might have put lots of thought into it – the perfect card or gift, flowers, a sumptuous candle-lit dinner and romantic music in the background.

But not everyone will be celebrating the love. It could be a day reminding you what you no longer have, the hurt you feel or the betrayal by another. Mending a broken heart is never easy; it’s much safer to keep it closed than feel the pain. There is no quick way to stop your heart

Continue reading

Signs of being an Emotional Zombie

 

5233a9742dd5051c5e76c314

For most of my life, being an empath  in a world where being emotional equaled being weak or foolish it was hard to manage my emotions. In order for me to cope I would disconnect from them and became a “Bobblehead”, always in my head ‘thinking’. Perhaps you can you relate? Always stuck in your head, constantly rehashing your thoughts and not really getting anywhere.  Maybe a little control-freak issue creeping in various situations? Yes you have those goals or “To do lists’ and when you get to achieve them there’s that ’empty feeling’ and you’re onto the next thing?

The most important lesson I have had to learn is that Feelings Buried Alive never Die!

Continue reading

A Year to Clear What is Holding you back from Living Your Best Life

 

With all our best intentions and goals, why is it so hard  for us to slow down, simplify our lives, and take better care of ourselves? Why do most of our ‘New Year Resolutions’  fall short or peter out?

Why are we so afraid to let go and embrace a new way of being? Is Change really that scary when deep down we really yearn for it?

As a society our drive to attain and keep ‘busy’ comes at a great cost to our soul. We are malnourished when it comes to compassionate self-acceptance, awareness, and care. We yearn for a simpler, less stressful life, but struggle to find it. We ache for balance but can’t sustain it. There is no time to juggle it all, let alone clear the things and thoughts that have caused us to feel so overwhelmed in the first place.

Stop and take a good, hard look at who (or what) is taking up space in your life. If you want change to be effective in your life this year it starts with AWARENESS. You can’t change what you are not aware of. We all have blind spots, things we know deep down are swirling away but we avoid looking at for many reasons. Until we do and are completely honest with ourselves we are doomed to pass another year of carrying around what is weighing us down, holding us back from being who really wish to be and living the life we really want.

Continue reading

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others:You are Magnificent just the Way you Are

 

Be confident

If you are like me, at times you probably catch yourself falling into the ever-alluring yet emotionally-dangerous trap of comparing yourself to others. On one hand we unconsciously do this in an attempt to make accurate evaluations of ourselves, perhaps for personal growth. But at what cost? While comparison can be a valuable source of motivation and growth, it can also spin us into a tail-chasing frenzy of self-doubt.

This brings me to an experience I had recently at an event where I was showcasing my new book on Forgiveness as well as a Soul Vision Board workshop with a twist. Out the corner of the eye I caught this woman who had just come through the door make a beeline for me. Being an empath I felt a woosh of energy come charging ahead of the woman. Lets just say it was not a pretty pink loving colour but more of a sharp cutting edgy feel.

Continue reading