We’ve all experienced difficult times in our lives, often through events and circumstances outside our control. But like great trees, humans grow stronger when exposed to powerful winds. When extreme, unexpected, life changing, or scary things happen, how can we not only survive them but also grow from the experience? Here are 10 suggestions for dealing with the hard times when they happen:
Take responsibility and embrace the situation
Assume an “I can do something” attitude rather than pointing fingers. Its natural to numb in the beginning. Instead rather than avoid what is happening when you recognize that you’re in a trying time and accept that you can’t change it, you’re no longer a prisoner to your situation. You free yourself to deal the best you can with the challenge ahead of you. If nothing else, you can control your own response to the situation.
Try to see past the hardship
When you’re in a crisis, it’s hard to see any upside. But, with some distance, you may be able to see the situation in a different light. When you compartmentalize the difficulty, you can focus on a workable solution. “Take a ‘crisis break’ in which you relax and observe the situation as if you were an outsider. Take several deep breaths to calm your nervous system down, silence the mind and focus on your intuition. You are very likely to derive some useful thoughts you would not have come upon within the midst of your anxious state.
“Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.” ~Unknown
You may not give much thought to the existence of boundaries in your daily life, but they are everywhere. For example, when you are driving on a two-lane road, you stay to the right of the center line, especially if there is a car coming from the opposite direction. That’s a boundary you can clearly see but what about how you are in relationships.
Boundary issues are common to most of us; in fact, our personal boundaries are often blurred leading to conflict or feelings of resentment in relationships. Most of us come from a family where boundaries were unclear or barely recognized and maybe we don’t know what a boundary really is. The simplest way for me to explain what a boundary is, is where I end and you begin. They enable use to make choices about how we feel, think or behave.
Healthy Personal Boundaries = Taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions, while NOT taking responsibility for the actions or emotions of others
When you’ve been through a major, life-changing event, it’s only normal to spend time getting over it. But when you’re OVER getting over it, and want to find happiness again, how do you do that? Well, this August, your days of wondering and struggling are over. My friend Lois McCullough has put together an amazing online event, with 21 loss and happiness experts, who will inspire you to bring happiness and joy back into your life, and to move forward from now on, with renewed energy and a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment. I’m excited to be a guest speaker as part of The Art of Happiness after Loss Telesummitand I can’t wait for you to join me! The 21-day online tele-summit event begins on August 1st, and it’s FREE! Yes it’s FREE, no obligation but just to listen.Click here to reserve your seat! Art of Happiness after Loss TelesummitWhen you are ready to get back into a joyful life, it’s nice to know there are others out there who are ready, and eager, to support you.Continue reading →
This post on my Facebook business page really spoke to people. As a business owner with a business page on Facebook offering inspiration and tips to people via FB can be challenging at times. The reason being Facebook continuously evolves and over time has reduced the number of times a post is displayed in my reader’s newsfeed. So when this post went viral with over 33 000 shares and reaching over 2 million readers I was a little taken back. The words on this post seemed to resonate with so many I wondered about all the stories they might have to share. How they might be struggling with fear, doubt or are even in crisis, how they might have moved forward after loss and found happiness again. I wondered….