So being a Libra on the Zodiac chart has often been a challenge when coming to decision-making and believe me there have been times I have failed miserably to say the least. I am sure you can relate after you have made the choice that perhaps it was not in your best interest and now there are consequences that follow. Damn those consequences!
Does this then mean I am doomed to making bad decisions forever?—perhaps or maybe not. We are all faced with challenges that require decision-making. How we meet our challenges though, makes all the difference in the image of success or failure. We as humans have the ability to learn and change.
The thing about creating our reality is that we decide it from only 2 places. We either make a decision based from FEAR or LOVE. If we are not consciously making it from a place of LOVE we are more likely to be making them from our unconscious FEARS. Scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences reveal that our decisions are made seconds before we become aware of them. That our unconscious minds pretty much controls everything and that consciousness is extremely limited. Yikes, that’s kinds scary if you really think about who is driving the bus!
Anxiety, stress and fear — emotions that are part and parcel of life — can distort our choices. Stress (a manifestation of fear) makes us prone to tunnel vision, less likely to take in the information we need. Anxiety makes us more risk-averse than we would be regularly as once we start the ‘worry cycle’ we can spin out so many stories of what could go wrong. Your brain doesn’t forget the bad choices you’ve made in the past, either. It keeps emotional memories from these experiences and uses them as the background for future decisions. But these memories can lead to flaws in judgment. For instance, studies suggest that the end of an experience has more influence on our memories than the overall experience.
So how can we train our minds to act more courageously in everyday life?
Check in with Yourself
We need to know how we are feeling. Mindfully acknowledging our feelings serves as an “emotional thermostat” that recalibrates our decision-making. It’s not that we can’t be anxious, it’s that we need to acknowledge to ourselves that we are. It is also crucial to ask probing questions of ourselves. This is because we bring into our decision-making process flaws and errors of our own. The more honest you are with yourself the more your self-created illusions will collapse, giving you the ability to make choices with clarity.
Be Vulnerable and Acknowledge your Fears
Dealing with FEAR is all about SELF-AWARENESS. You can’t change what you are unaware of. It’s difficult to conquer your fears if you’re unable to be honest with yourself in the first place about what exactly those fears are. Living in an authentic manner — meaning acknowledging and appropriately expressing one’s actual feelings, thoughts, and desires — requires acknowledging one’s fear and risks and moving forward anyway when the cause merits action. Sometimes looking at the situation from different perspectives with curiosity opens up our awareness to all possibilities rather than the self imposed limitations we might have imposed on ourselves.
Manage your Stress
Stress and fear often come together. Fear is visceral and even though its very real in our body its distorted as unless we are in grave danger we really are safe. In my opinion, as a society I also see our levels of the way we adapt to stress become more desensitized. We just seem to keep pushing further to our limits without even realizing them, mainly because we are numbed out to fear. Because we don’t feel it, we can’t listen to it. To prevent fear from stopping us in our tracks, we need to learn to relax our bodies, deepen our breathing, open up to feeling. Feel rather than think about your fear. Feelings of stress are generally rooted in a fear of an imagined physical or emotional threat (not being able to meet a deadline, or fear of failure, for instance), and stress can contribute to negative feelings like depression & anxiety that in turn can contribute to fear-based thinking. Find ways like exercise and meditation to lower your stress levels and breathing techniques to calm down the nervous system.
Your fears live in the shadow aspects of yourself and unless we shine the light on them they will continue to rule your life. It might not be easy to face them, that’s where finding your courage to look at them comes in, but when you do you’ll take back control of your life. Because fears are often unconscious there might be an overlap…under what we ‘think’ is our fear lies the core one…we just need to dig a little deeper.
If you are interested in exploring which one of your unconscious fears might be impacting your decision-making Join me , Don Miguel Ruiz author of The 4 Agreements and 40 other Spiritual teachers for a free, live 30minutes on Uncovering your top 3 Fears that sabotage your success, happiness and abundance,
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